No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
