She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
