I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
