Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
