He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
