You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Randomize
