So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Floor bacon is actually really good
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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