please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
