I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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