i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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