Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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