shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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