so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
