i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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