there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
