my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
