Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
