I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
