imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
