I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
