I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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