i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm at about main and main street
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
