I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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