Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
