i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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