got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize