i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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