i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
