WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
