He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
