So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
