Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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