Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
