morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
