even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
