Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
where am i from again
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
