Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize