My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
