Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
