Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
