im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Randomize
