i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
