your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
