Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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