But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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