I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
