Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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