I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
