Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
