did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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