Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
