I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
