I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
