I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize