i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
