You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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