Midget sex pt 2 tonight
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
