does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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