i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
