absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
