i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
