it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
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