But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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