Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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