I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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