if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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