Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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