The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Randomize
