Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
