I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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