Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
