good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
