the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
