I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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