hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
